Where have I been?

I don't know how to start. I've not been blogging because it hasn't been a top priority for me. I really wanted to be a real blogger after stumbling on to so many other blogs full of great ideas, but for now blogging is not my calling. I will continue to write new posts and share, but as for a daily or weekly update I don't think that will be coming.

God has been really good to me since my last blog. I finished the book Crazy Love, by Francis Chan and haven't picked up any other Christian books. I have been reading some fun books I have downloaded for my Kindle for free thanks to a blog Pixel of Ink. I did really enjoy Crazy Love, and his messages have resonated with me. Kinda wishing I had bought the book and not just borrowed it. Would like to be able to go back and reread some things. Alas God must not have wanted me to own the book. If you want to really be called to think about your faith and love for God check out the book.

Along with finishing up the book I have been working, trying to raise my daughter with the help of a great husband, attending church, having prayer meetings, and visiting family and friends.

Justin and I took Liliana back to Kentucky to visit where she was born. It was great seeing old friends and catching up. We spent a long weekend there, but it wasn't enough time to see everyone. It is always so hard for me to return to places I have lived. I see the people and places as they were when I left and to see changes is not pleasant to me. I am so glad we went and Lili keeps asking to go back and see Lindsey and Wendy and Nathan again. Kentucky is a beautiful state. Justin loved it so much that he would move back if we could. God had a big hand in us living in Kentucky and especially Harrodsburg and I thank Him for the lessons and good times we had there.

God has been placing wonderful things in my life and I am so thankful for that. One day I was in the car and listening to a Christian radio station. The segment I was listening to was an interview with Priscilla Shirer who wrote the book The Resolution for Women. She wrote this book to go along with the movie Courageous. Courageous was mainly for men so the movie folks thought it would be nice to have a book for women who were inspired by the movie. The book is about wives being submissive to their husbands. You can check the interview out on this link. What really spoke to me was a story she shared about her and her husband trying to decide on a name for one of their kids. She really wanted one name and he wanted another. She felt like she could really get upset about this and went to the Lord who told her to go with her husbands choice. (All this is really really paraphrased!) What I took away from the part of the interview I listened to was that I truly have not been submissive to Justin. I am a take charge kinda gal who pretty much thinks and does what I please. Too many times I forgot to consult my husband before making a decision and one time I didn't listen to him at all. That night I asked Justin to forgive me. I do have to admit that I want to purchase and read the book and read the scripture related to this topic in Ephesians, but I have yet to. I think God has been preparing me to be in the right mindset.

I keep looking up to see how much I have written and wonder if anyone will take the time to read this. I hope my few and infrequent blog posting uplift and enlighten others as they read it.

Prayer request: For me to seek ALL of God and that I read His word more often.

Praying for you my unknown reader (s),

Carrie-Anne

A Pattern for Prayer

God is so good. I feel super blessed to know that I am a sinner, but God's grace and mercy abounds!

Yesterday I missed church because of unforeseen things coming up. I did want to hear a sermon and went to youtube to watch something by Francis Chan. I picked this one: The most inportant lesson I could ever teach. I really had a hard time focusing on it, but I was determined and completed it with some breaks. It was about how us Christians don't really read the Bible for ourselves. Ouch was all I could think. How true! I feel like I get enough from other sources that I rarely pick up my Bible and study it for myself. Praying that I seek more one on one Bible and God time without the help of others.

Today I received an email devotion from Biblegateway.com. It came from the book; True Identity The Bible for women. The title was A Pattern for Prayer. The Bible passage for today was Nehemiah 1:1–1. This is where Nehemiah finds out how bad Jerusalem is. Nehemiah was so upset by this he stopped and wept. He mourned and fasted for days crying out to God.

Here is a portion of the devotion:

"First, Nehemiah acknowledged who God is: “the great and awesome God.” When we focus on who God is, it helps to put our own problems into proper perspective.

Next Nehemiah acknowledged who he himself was: God’s servant. When we maintain an attitude of humility toward our heavenly Father, we are reminded of our dependence on God.

Then Nehemiah confessed his own sins and the sins of the Israelites. He didn’t gloss over the transgressions but stated them in honest repentance. Repentance freed him—and can free us—to make the next step in prayer.

Awed, humbled and forgiven—Nehemiah reminded God of his promises to his people. He recounted God’s promises to the children of Israel and interceded for his people, asking God to hear his prayer and favor him.

What situation has brought you to tears? If it is enough to touch your heart, it’s enough to bring you to your knees. Follow Nehemiah’s pattern: Acknowledge who God is and who you are, confess your sins and remind God of his promises." 

I can recall a few times where I have truly cried out to God tears and all for something, but is that enough. How often I hear news or prayer concerns and they touch my heart, but I don't cry out to God like Nehemiah did. I am so thankful that we have Nehemiah's prayer and his pattern as an example of how to go to God.

Crazy Love update: I am still reading it and digesting all that Chan lays out. This book really has me truly thinking and praying about my Christianity and my walk with God.

I pray you are seeing God in the little things daily. Continue to seek Him in all you do. Remember "The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous." Proverbs 15:29

CA 

That small still voice

I am still trying to figure out this book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I'm now in chapter 5. Chan makes lots of good points and really is pushing me to think about my faith. Chapter 4 was all about being a lukewarm christian. Chan gives lots of scenarios describing what a lukewarm christian might look like or act, but low and behold in chapter 5 Chan threw a curve ball and said that the term lukewarm christian is an oxymoron. You cannot really be a christian and be only lukewarm. Now I have to let you know that reading this book has not been easy, but something keeps calling me back to it. I may only have time to read one page, but I feel like I need to sit down and read what I can. Maybe it is because I am only borrowing it from the Kindle library, but I don't think that is it. I finished up chapter 4 and began chapter 5 just now and as I am trying to read and focus I keep "hearing/sensing" this thought or something about the idea of God. Kind of like someone is asking me "You really believe there is truly a God that created everything and created you for Him and He wants you to follow Him and live your life in such a way that you truly have to depend only on Him?"

I feel like the author of this book Chan's prayer for his readers is that they stop and think about their walk with God and come to an understanding of loving Him even if it seems crazy. I also think the devil is not happy with this prayer and while I am reading he is trying to pull me off my course just a little by putting thoughts of doubt into my head.

Really though, think about it; God is God. He created everything that we know of and so much that we don't. He created man in His image for Him and He wants us to love Him and accept that He sent a boy-His son-to live on earth and be human and God in one. He orchestrated people to write down His ideas and put it together to form the Bible. He seeks us out and wants to make us holy and if we accept all this and live according to His will we (might) will be able to hear Jesus say yes I know Carrie-Anne good and faithful servant. How silly does that sound?

Just this afternoon I was talking with some co-workers and it came up about a man that had committed suicide and how could anyone do that. I commented "who would want to go to Hell? I know Jesus is going to have a long list of things I missed and messed up, but I know I'm going to Heaven." Then I come home to finish up the lukewarm chapter and start on chapter 5 and doubt the idea of a God and this whole christian concept. Strange how God works if you ask me!

Did you noticed in my third paragraph I sneaked  in the word might when talking about hearing Jesus say yes you are a friend of mine? As I was typing I wrote might instead of will, but I feel like everyone thinks if they are saved they will be in Heaven when the time comes, but is that really the case? This book is really presenting a case for me to think long and hard about it all. Even think about is there really a God. I have always said that even if I knew with 100% that no matter what I did I was going to go to hell I would still praise God and live my life according to His will so that I do not bring anyone else with me to hell. Two questions come to mind: 1. Is my walk (life) encouraging others or am I just another person living life not affecting anyone? 2. Is how I'm living really going to get me into Heaven or am I that lukewarm christian? 

I do believe in God and believe that He is I Am that I Am, the Alpha and Omega, Abba Father, and so much more. I also believe that God knew that when I began reading this particular book I would have doubts and I would question me faith. I am sure He knows if this book will change me. He has a plan for me and while I do not know how future chapters of my story will pan out I am willing to continue on my path with Him beside me. I wonder if that thought I heard or felt while reading was the devil putting doubt in me or was it really God calling me to question my faith. God does speak in a small still voice. I pray that God does use this book to bring me closer to Him and to inspire me to reach others.

Great Week!

Yes my week ended great! I had a wonderful day with my students at Special Olympics. I taught great lessons all week (meaning my students sat and listened and paid attention!) and I feel closer to God.

To start I will recap a little about my reading of Crazy Love. I'm on chapter two which is cleverly named "you might not finish this chapter." He is trying to express to us that we are only an extra in God's movie. Along with this He shows us how this is all God's story and we are here for God not the other way around. I am finding that I am having to go back and reread sections and seeking out the context of the verses Chan quotes. I really like the idea that I am seeking out what God wants to show me in this book. God is speaking to me in a little thing called words.

For a couple of weeks I have been struggling with some things at work. Praise God that I gave it all to Him. I took two steps forward this week and was only pushed one step back. I will press on! In seeing the errors I had made at work and seeking out ways to fix them God has blessed me with opportunities to truly "teach." I put teach in quotations because I teach everyday, but not in the true sense of get in front of the class, present information, and have discussions. This week I had lots of "teaching" moments. (For those who have forgotten I teach severe and profound special education and that means I teach a lot of one-on-one and life skills.) My lessons included science topics, writing topics, finding the beginning, middle, and end of a story, and lots of math lessons. I am super glad to see that God is merciful and He forgave me and continued to bless me. God is so good.

Tonight I was on my new addiction Pinterest and found this 21 Creative Consequences . Being a parent of a wonderful 3 year old who never challenges me I am all about finding great ways to train up my child. I truly loved number 3. "Make a homemade "Correction" can and fill it with tickets or slips of paper with various consequences written on them. Instead of giving your child a time-out, send her to the can for a slip. A few ideas might include no TV or computer for a night, early bedtime, or an extra chore. Toss in a blank piece of paper, a "mercy" ticket. This gives you an opportunity to talk about how God gives us mercy even when we deserve punishment." A great way to show God's love and mercy in the disciplining of my child. Another way to share God with a little thing.

Praise God for a wonderful week! I do have the beginnings of a cold, but asking God heals me before work on Tuesday.

Praying you all have a wonderful weekend.  

Praising God for His wonders

I am still in chapter one of the book Crazy Love by Chan. I had to put it down to truly think about all that I read. I'm struggling with his concepts that I read in that yes they are true, but I've heard it before. I truly had to stop and not think about it. So tonight I was driving by myself (a rarity) and enjoying some thinking time. I began to think about the wonders of our world and how great our God is for all that He has created. The main topic I read about last night was truly worshiping God for His beauty. Tonight I did just that. I praised God for a wonderful day teaching, a beautiful day weather wise, and how He made it all fit together. The little thing for today is praising God for His big creation! When you stop and think about it how can you not stop and worship Him? I'm just saying.

what's with my title anyway?

So I want to post something, but nothing is really jumping out at me. Last week was a struggle for me and God has shown me the errors I made and what I need to do. I pray I truly listened this time. Yep He has to repeat a lot of lessons for me. Anyway I don't want to dwell on all that, but move on to happier things.

I started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Here is a link to his website: Crazy Love Book. I am just a couple of pages in and since I was reading on my Kindle (thanks dad it was the best gift ever!) I was not near a computer to take the first online quiz thingy. Now that I've been back to the computer I just remembered I needed to do the first thing. I'm not sure how God will use this book in me, but I'm praying He will allow me to see and hear what He has in it for me. I will keep ya posted on it. I've heard great things.

God is working in me and I pray He continues. I've been thinking a lot about  my blog title: seeking HIM in the little things. What does this mean to me again? God is so wonderful that I want to see His works in everything and I want to share His greatness in all I do. So what is seeking Him in the little things: it is finding something so simple and realizing God is behind it. I pray you are seeking God in the little things!

Tested

So I posted yesterday about what I've been learning and guess what God has put me to the test. I'm sure I passed, but just barely. See I decided to let go and do my best for me & God, but I didn't get the message quick enough. Yep my venting got back to the wrong person and now I'm struggling to eat my words. Not that I said anything bad, but well anyway not to go into detail. I just know that I have learned from all this. I really feel like I'm an adult now coming into my own. Funny how I'm 31 and have a 3 year old little girl, but I really feel like I've taking my life and learned from it. So much is going on in my mind about everything and nothing.

I talked with Justin and as I was talking to him I felt a sense of calm and ok. That all this will pass and I've got so much to take away from it. God even used a little thing to speak to me. I was checking facebook and a friend posted this scripture "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up". ~ Galatians 6:9~ I feel like I'm doing good, but reaping nothing for it and there is no need to think nothing good is coming because of course it is. 


Thanks God for speaking to me in the little things. Although I feel like what I am dealing with is big it really is little. God has me and is training me up and I am ready. I want to make a change and take what I have learned/am learning and put it into practice. I know this won't come over night. It takes doing things a few times for it to become a habit or part of the routine. So let me get started. I have a new plan for work, I'm focusing on my parenting style, and I we are thinking about next steps for our family. 


As long as I do good I will reap a harvest in His time. I will not grow weary (anymore) and I will not give up! 

Reflecting

Do you ever have a moment to just stop and think? Tonight was one of my times to stop and think.

Lately I've been doing a lot of "venting" or complaining about things that haven't gone my way. Tonight I just began to tell myself that it is what it is and I cannot change it especially by venting. Today someone said some things that really got under my skin and instead of going back and telling EVERYONE I just tucked it away and waited till I could tell my husband. I vented and am letting go of it. God has it all in His hands and I am His.

I have also put into practice that if I am thinking negative it means I need to stop and ask God. Yep I truly believe if I am upset, disappointed, hurt, confused or whatever that God has a reason for what caused my feeling in the first place and therefore I need to stop and ask Him why or to take it away.

These past few months I have learned a lot.

1. It's okay to be disappointed- don't get upset or jealous of others
2. One person is not the end all- I only have to please God
3. Try your best and give 100% 
4. If I let myself down don't put myself down
5. Even if I don't speak it I am still judging
6. Be thankful for the little things- this makes the bigger things even better
7. Complaining only takes away from giving 100%
8. Practice makes better not perfect-see I'm learning from my mistakes!
9. Organization is not in my blood
10. I see myself as successful when others notice- a. meaning I brag on myself  b. I get down on myself if I am not in the forefront.

What I am saying with this list is that God is still molding me. He is allowing me to stop and reflect more so that I can "learn" from what I have done. Number 10 has really hit me hard. I never realized that I seek out to be included not because I want to help, but because that is how I gain the feeling of success. If others pick me to help out than I feel like I have done good. If I don't get picked I begin number 4! Satan likes to put doubt in me because it takes my thoughts away from God. I also felt that I needed recognition and affirmation to feel successful.  I need to remember that I am can see my successes when I see gains in my students, when I have made it though another day, when I see my daughter smile, and not only when others compliment me or choose me to help. Sometimes it's better to be doing what your doing without others watching your every move. This way if you make a mistake no one but you and God know!

Thanks God for showing me one of my flaws that You are rubbing away. God is the great potter and I am just a lump of clay.

As I am typing and reflecting I think God has shown me the root of my issues here lately: I feel like I don't matter. This goes back to me needing feedback from higher ups and rewards for doing what I should be doing just because it is my duty. There is no need to feel like I don't matter if no one says anything to me. I matter to me, to God, to my students, and my family.

Do you ever wonder?

So today Lilibug was stuck at home. She came down with strep. So as I was playing around with her I thought I wonder if God had me stay home for a reason. Do you ever think about that? Like if you were running late and maybe it was so you missed a car accident. Or maybe you think about it on a positive side like you chose to walk a certain way that day and ran into someone or found something and then give the credit to God. I don't know that this is true, but often I do think maybe "that" happened for a reason only God knows.

On another note- I hated having to miss work today. I just had 19 days off and was ready to get back into the routine. I had spent a lot of my time off working on school ideas and cannot wait to put them to work in my classroom. So to miss today took a lot for me. Guess this is why I stopped and asked God what was the reason.

God is the first artist

Dad's tree

I sure did enjoy my lazy days in Florida. It was very relaxing and easy going. It was also good to spend time with my dad. Lili enjoyed being with Grandpa John as well. Justin had to spend some of his time writing papers, but did get to enjoy good food and fun times in between writing. He also got a new video game that he got to play. It is always nice to not to have to "do" anything. I praise God for these few and far between moments.


I especially loved being able to go to the beach and enjoy the wonders of God's creation. One day I was lucky enough to get to watch a pod of dolphins playing for at least a half and hour. Lili loved playing in the sand, collecting sea shells and getting her toes feet legs wet. Even our dog Sadie got to enjoy the beach playing ball and rolling in the sand. 

Look at the beauty of the sun set and the ocean!

While I was walking the beach I stopped to enjoy the sea shells. I've always loved collecting them. I still have a few from when I was a little girl. As I was looking at the various shells I was struck by how God blending and mixed the colors on each. He is the original artist and designer. Just look at nature and see. It still amazes me how something so little as a sea shell and bring me to awe of our mighty God. It's the little things. I am so glad I can see Him in the little things. I am thankful that I am not to busy to appreciate the small moments and simple ways God appears to me. I am also thankful for the big things as well. 

Some pictures I took of sea shells.

I'll work on my editing skills one day!

Walking to the beach

We enjoyed our time and it was a wonderful way to end the Christmas season and start 2012!

Last Year + New Year = New Goals

This year my little family of 3 + 2 dogs are at the my dad's who lives at the beach to celebrate Christmas and New Year's Eve. As I folding a load of laundry I thought to myself what are my goals for the new year? So now is as good of time as any to reflect and share what I would like to do in the new year.

First I want to share a verse from Leviticus. Leviticus 20:7-8 NLT "So set yourselves apart to be holy, for I am the Lord your God. Keep all my decrees by putting them into practice, for I am the Lord who makes you holy." Guess you know one goal for me! I want to put God's decrees into practice so that I may be holy. 


Another big goal is to fix our credit scores so we can buy a house! This means really really getting on a budget and sticking to it. Yuck! This is going to be hard with my new love of Pintrest.com and wanting to create new things for my classroom. 


I want to take Monday nights to teach a Bible story to Lilibug and then reflect and reread the story all week. I would like to begin scripture memory with her as well.

I want to also be better at keeping my house clean. I started in August taking 20 minutes after I said I was going to bed to pick up and do the dishes, but that ended quickly in October. I want to make sure that when I do a load of laundry I hang up clothes that don't need to dry to long and to fold my clothes right away. 

Last I want to better my time management with everything. 

That's it for me. Hoping I'll stick with these. 

HaPpY nEw YeAr!

John 8: 31-47

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." -John 8:36

This was a post on Facebook today who read it on Joyce Meyer Ministries. As I read it I immediately wanted to read it in context. 

John 8: 31-47 NIV 

³¹ To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. ³² Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”   ³³ They answered him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?” ³⁴ Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. ³⁵ Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. ³⁶ So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. ³⁷ I know that you are Abraham’s descendants. Yet you are looking for a way to kill me, because you have no room for my word. ³⁸ I am telling you what I have seen in the Father’s presence, and you are doing what you have heard from your father.” ³⁹ “Abraham is our father,” they answered.  “If you were Abraham’s children,” said Jesus, “then you would do what Abraham did. ⁴⁰ As it is, you are looking for a way to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. Abraham did not do such things. ⁴¹ You are doing the works of your own father.” “We are not illegitimate children,” they protested. “The only Father we have is God himself.” ⁴² Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. ⁴³ Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. ⁴⁴ You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. ⁴⁵ Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! ⁴⁶ Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me? ⁴⁷ Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.”

Wow is all I can say!  Let's look at the last part: "the reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God." That really gets me thinking to today's time and why so many find it hard to believe in the unknown of God. They don't really "hear" what is being told to them. (Wonder if it all of us who say one thing and act a different way?) Makes me want to take back all the times I tried to argue God with someone. I bet both of us were not really hearing. 

In this scripture Jesus is talking to Jews who are trying to find a way to bust Jesus. Here Jesus is not speaking in parables, but being honest with them and asking them why they don't understand him. They also did not understand the concept of being a slave to their sins. As I continue to reread these verses I  see how Jesus is trying to reach them using their lineage to show them how they claim one thing, but act on another. There is so much here that I truly cannot follow it all. I am going to have to take more time, but again wow. 

I do want to go back to the concept of being a slave to sin. How true do we humans fall into traps and become a slave to a sin. That's how the devil does it sometimes. He takes something we do or like that may not even be a sin and uses it to get us off our path a little bit. Think about it this way I love playing games on the computer sometimes I will spend all day on the computer ignoring necessary things that need to be done or skipping time with God. See how something can be turned into an idol. 

To read on in scripture the Jews go on to accuse Jesus  ⁴⁸ The Jews answered him, “Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan and demon-possessed?” Really they called him a Samaritan? I encourage you to study these scriptures for yourself. 

Today I was on facebook and in a little post I found God speaking to me! 

                                                                               Let His word speak to you today!

Merry Christmas-A summary from my house to yours

As I reflect on this holiday season I am over joyed with all the love, laughter, and good times I got to enjoy this year. To be honest I really wanted to skip Christmas this year. I was in the spirit of Jesus' birth, but the idea of traveling, getting schedules down pat, and making sure everyone was going to be happy just wasn't for me this year. Thankfully I was not able to let the season pass me by. For the first time in 3 years I put a tree. Lili enjoyed helping me and loved when I made the lights appear. (Now the fun part of taking it down!) Justin and I did most of our shopping in one trip way in late November. To bad we waited to wrap the presents. I enjoyed creating my students homemade gifts. We started off Christmas break with some easy going days. We had our first annual Christmas party and boat parade where we decorated a homemade boats and they floated around a pool.
I took Lili up to Atlanta on Wed. to spend extra time with her Grandma and Grandpa Carl. She had a blast. We went up on Friday for our annul  Stocking Stuffers. Lots of fun was had by all. Christmas Eve was easy going with my mom and step dad, my brother's family and my family. We enjoyed gift opening and watching the children. It really is all about the kiddos. Christmas day we drove back home to enjoy Christmas with Justin's family. I love that the extended family is so close. While I had some sad moments -we miss you Mema - it was a great time. We then went to Justin's parents to celebrate Christmas with his parents and brother's family. We let the girls open their gifts and enjoyed seeing what they got. We got home to discover more gifts under our tree for Lili bug. While we tried to encourage the concept that Santa is a tradition for some, my lovely 3 year old held on to the idea. We did sing happy birthday to Jesus and talked about the Christmas story with her.

So there it is. Now the day after Christmas we begin the clean up, looking over everything we got, and reflecting on the holiday. For us we will wait to clean up. We are headed to see my dad tomorrow in FL. Hoping for some nice weather to enjoy the sounds of the waves while I read and Lili plays in the sand. I hope to be able to relax and take time for myself before coming home to the day to day grind. Lili will think it's Christmas all over again! We are taking all of her My Little Pony sets with us, but the bulk of her new things will still be new when we get back.

I praise God for allowing me to spend time with family this Christmas. I am blessed way beyond human words and understanding with the love and gifts I received. I pray you had a great Christmas and were able to share it with the ones you love.

Random things from me to you

God is on the move in my life! Daily He speaks to me in many ways. Today He gave me a vision of scrolls with their seals being broken. I still need to contemplate what God is showing me in this. I do not know if this is for everyone or just me. I was listening to a song about getting ready for Jesus to come back. It was People Get Ready by Misty Edwards you can listen to it here: http://youtu.be/iPfa0xpyF3U. I was really asking and praying about what do we need to do to get ready for Jesus to come back. This is  my topic of research for the next couple of days. Anyway God also spoke to me tonight when I went to get set up to work on school things. Low and behold the disk I need was not put in the case nor left in my computer like usual. God must not want me to work on school things. God is giving me dreams and feelings that fit my needs or the needs of people around me. It is amazing to see how God is using me and speaking to me. I started this blog to help me be reminded to seek Him in all the little things and truly I don't have to seek Him because He is seeking me. How wonderful!

God is also using Lili to speak to others He has given her so much joy for Him and His spirit and giving it to others. I'm so use to hear saying Amen when someone says in Jesus' name. She loves singing praise songs and always brings a smile to my face when I am down. It is a struggle daily with her and I. We go head to head on so many things, but at random times she'll look at me and tell me she loves me and misses me. How cool is that. I often ask myself are we doing a good job? Are we really instilling good morals and goals in her? Truly are we? Justin and I joke and make up the most silliest songs about such random things. Any suggestions on a good parenting book for raising a Godly child please let me know.

Our family has been a part of a wonderful home church led by the preacher who was in charge of our campus ministry in college. God has brought it on our group to get bigger and has given us a vision to grow into more. What a task! Justin and I are not sure what God has in store for us, but we do know that we came back to Macon for more than to be closer to family. Justin and I are going to work with the youth of our church starting in January. I've been doing Sunday School and praying that Justin will take over and lead a Sunday morning study on the spiritual disciplines in the new year. I pray God's will over all the changes and decisions being made.

Hoping your holidays are not rushed and filled with the Holy Spirit finding you in the little things!

Who am I?

It's a late night for me. I'm babysitting for my cousin. It's been a trying couple of days,weeks, months I don't know how to pin it down. God is truly speaking in so many ways. Tonight I am a little down and questioning a lot of things and as I was just spacing out I heard "who am I?" in my spirit. Who I am? I am a child of God's who is asked to do nothing on my own accord. Daily I face struggles, but I do not face them alone. I have God right beside me carrying the load.
Many times I let my anger get the best of me and I speak out of turn and I speak my mind without filters, but who I am to get upset? It is not my place. I'm not to seek revenge, I'm not to speak ill of others, I'm not to show my butt to anyone but God, I'm not to take on the world and not ask for help, I'm not to expect others to read my mind, I could go on. God is showing me so much that is IN ME! It's time for me to take a long look at things that are not right in myself and make a conscious change. 
God why do I let my flesh get the better of me? Why do I take things way to personally? Why do I feel the need to let everyone know when I feel like I have been done wrong? Why can't I just let You, God handle it like I know you will in Your time? It seems to be so easy to jump in on the gossip or to tell others what has happened to me, but so hard to be the positive one speaking good and reminding others of the good that has come. I want so much to bring joy into a conversation. I want so much to stop the negative in it's tracks and not agree with others and add to it. I don't want to walk away I want to speak up and bring God into the room.
I am so thankful for where God has me. He knows me, knows what I need, and even though I truly don't see why I have to "suffer" with some things I know there is a reason for it all. As I sit here wondering "who I am" I know I am a child of God.

Inspired

Philippians 4: 4-9

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. 

Yes it is time to rejoice. God wants nothing more than you to be happy and to rejoice. Yes in Him, but also in life. When you rejoice you are praising Him. You are showing Him thanks. He loves to see you happy and rejoicing! Yep He truly does. 

God is so awesome. I wanted to follow up with some news. I know I've been sharing a lot about teaching and I this past week I put into practice something I learned better yet realized I wasn't doing correctly. I want to set up work stations or tasks for my students to do independently and have tried to do in the past, but it never really worked. Well it didn't work because I did not teach the children how to complete the tasks instead I thought they could do it without me. This week I made a clothespin ABC matching activity and showed the students exactly what to do step by step letting them practice and help me complete the task. I then explained how to raise their hand and show me before taking off the clothespins. We practiced this several times each. We also practiced getting the named activity and taking it to their work station and working quietly on the tasks. I had a picture for the activity and gave it to the student who went and got the task (some needed help) and began working. Again we practiced a lot.Then I put it to the test and had set up stations for the kiddos putting one working on the matching task independently. The other kids were split between me and my paraprofessional. We rotated students and the ones who worked independently didn't even need to ask for help. 

I plan on continuing this with many more tasks. I have made a couple of neat ones that I found on Pinterenest and plan on making many more. The trick is to "teach" it first and then let them be independent. Only 5 years into Special Education and I got one thing down pat. 

Thanks for following me in this journey. God is truly showing Himself to me in the little things and I am happy to be able to rejoice in this discovery. 

You never know

God is in the little things. Today a student whom isn't mine, but helps out with my kiddos in the mornings is moving away. He is a kid who at times just gets under my skin. Very silly and wanting to help so much. I often get frustrated with him for not helping, but playing and want to just send him back to his class. He is currently in foster care and is going to live with his aunt and uncle. I could tell today that he is nervous about moving away and told him it will be great and he will be back with family. His response sent me into tears. He said they aren't adopting me, just taking me in and they could get rid of me at any time. Made me wish I could go back and give him more attention, more praise, and let him do more. You never know. God opened my eyes a lot this week with me and who I am, my work life, and my family life. I am thankful that I can continue to grow and be more to myself, my family, and in my work life. Truly you never know.

Ramblings of a Special Education Teacher! Praising God.

I am a beginner teacher. I have been teaching for 5 years and am working in special education. My undergrad was in teaching grades pre-k to 5th, but God had a different plan for me and I ended up teaching special ed while getting my masters in it with a focus on severe to profound. I worked 3 years to get my masters all the while trying my best to figure out how I was to reach each blessed little child God put in front of me to teach. It was easy to plan lesson from a core content (reading, math, science social studies) mind set, but trying to figure in all the varying needs like sensory issues, fine motor issues, gross motor issues, language issues, social skills, and so much more was truly a day by day if not minute by minute. I am known for changing up my room at least once every 2 months (for the first couple of years once a week) to find the best set up for my students. I can and will continue to teach while a student is laying in their desk with their head upside down on the ground and others making noises. I often cry on Friday when I go back over my lesson plan and realize we didn't get to half of the great things I wanted to because I had to help clean up a blow out, or my students just couldn't keep up with me that day, or they didn't master the skills needed to go on. I have taught the letter Kk to death and a student with the letter K at the beginning of her name still can not tell you that she has written a K on her paper. I plan and think about ways to enhance my teaching and activities for hours upon hours. I love creating new things and ways to help my students make gains. I often start a project and stop and ask "what was I thinking?" I get frustrated when I think my directions were clear and the child just stares at me or wonders around trying to do what I asked even though she has no idea what I asked. I try so hard to find ways for my non-verbal kiddos to communicate. Sometimes I think I hear mumbled words in the "noises" my kiddos make. I see the joy in a child when you hug and appreciate them.

Anyway these ramblings are getting to a point I promise. See I have been doing this for 5 years now and today I saw how God has molded me, allowed me to fail, allowed me to be cut down when I started to brag, and is always shown me how much He loves me. I have had such big dreams and hopes for each school year and assumed it would just come to be, but I now realize that I am still learning. I am thankful to the students who had me for a teacher while I was learning how to be a teacher. They allowed me to make mistakes and still loved me. I am sorry I didn't know what I know now, but also know I will always be sorry if I dwell on that. God has a perfect plan and He put in to play the exact kids I would have while He was molding me. The kids who He knew I could reach and make gains with. I often hear of how past students are doing and feel that sense of why could that teacher get him to do that and I couldn't, but God stops me and reminds me it's because that how God has designed it. Yes this is not the best of news for some. Sometimes we have to realize that why things are happening are for a reason and they will not hurt us. For example: Your child got the brand new teacher this year and your child isn't making as many gains as you hoped. Instead of blaming the new teacher thank God for choosing your child to help make that teacher a better teacher.

I see where I can make improvements and I pray that I do make the necessary changes and not just talk about them like I have done in the past. Amazing how that news flash/light bulb really can hit ya right out of the blue. I have been complaining about things for far to long. Especially since I have the power to change the things I have been whining about! Way to go Carrie-Anne way to go. Thankfully God showed me today what I need to do.

Like I said I am a beginner in the field of education, but I have done all that I could to be the best educator I knew how to be. I will continue to seek new ideas and ways to reach my students. I will rearrange my classroom until I get it perfect for that time. I will make mistakes and I will have successes. I will have God on my side.

So parents of whom I have taught I'm sorry I wasn't the best teacher, but I thank you for helping me to be better. I cannot go back and talk to some whom I would love to talk with to let them know how much they have inspired me. I pray that God has shown them how much I am sorry and how much they have made me who I am.

Today a lady shared about forgiveness and what God says about it. I cannot quote the scripture, but it really hit me. There are some people I cannot go back to and say "I'm sorry," but I want to. God I'm sorry I didn't ask like a lady of God to those people. I'm sorry I let my flesh rule me.

Thank you God for molding me and please continue to work on me! Amen. 

 

Inspiration

So for a couple of weeks I've been really enjoying reading other people's blogs. Thanks to http://pinterest.com. I have especially been looking at teacher blogs. I wish I was as crafty and cutesy as some teachers I have read about. They have the cutest rooms all decked out to the nines and such wonderful ideas. My goal before the end of 2011 is to redefine my classroom into a space that is me! What does this mean??? I need a theme. I've seen frogs, fish, polka dots, pink and brown, you know all the stylish things out there. I also have created a dream board of ideas and things I want to see come to light before 2012. Thanks pinterest.com for being my inspiration to take on more projects and tasks.

Really today my principal talked about why some become teachers giving that old example "for the summers off." Ha that is not why I am a teacher. I am a teacher because it is my make up. God knew before I was even a twinkle in my parents eyes that I was to be a teacher. I fought it too! Trust me I did! How do I know this? I spent the first two days of my Thanksgiving break trying to figure out new ways to teach my kiddos! I am always looking for things that I can use in my classroom when I am out and about and I am constantly reminding myself Lili is only 3 and doesn't have to be drilled on sight words, dot patterns, letters and numbers! Yes I am one of those teachers who is always trying to learn how to reach my students better. Now if I could learn how to manage my time better so I can make and do all that I "WANT" to do that would be great.

Not only did God design me to be a teacher He chose me to teach the special students. You know the one's with the best smile or the one who needs my hands to be his hands. Yep I am a special education teacher. I am blessed to have my life touched by such wonderful children and their families. Now if someone could petition God to give me some skills in the paperwork and organization that would be appreciated. Yep I am constantly checking my calendar only to find I have forgotten to do something. I am always looking for that one piece of paper I know I put in a special place so I could put my hand on it at any given moment. In spite of my shortfalls I am a teacher and I will teach the students placed in my care academics, life skills, and how to be who God made them to be.

I pray everyday that I use my talents and gifts in the classroom the way God wants. I pray that I am able to give 110% so that my students are able to be a part of the school community. I pray that I can work through the child fighting me, screaming and noises, and the snotty noses and that each student goes home with a new skill each day. Thank you God for the many gains the students I have worked with have made. Some are so tiny that when I go and share with others they cannot grasp why I am so excited over a child placing a ball in a toy in the correct place 3 times in a row. Last Sunday our preacher share with us about being thankful and publicly sharing our thanksgivings. Today I want everyone to know I am thankful God made me the way He did and that He cleared the way for me to fulfill His calling on my life.

Please stick with me! I plan on posting pictures of my room then (now) (plain and boring) and now (when I get it done!)

One other blessing from God I would like to share. There is a great program called donorschose.org. This program allows teachers to ask others for donations on projects or items that are needed for our classrooms. I posted a project this year and for over 2 months my project had no one "helping". Now I am getting  wonderful emails saying you have a new donation to your project. I thought for sure that it was not going to be fully funded and put it on the back burner, but God has a different plan. He really is in the little things.

Be sure to check out and help support my Donors Choose project at http://www.donorschoose.org/we-teach/936661.-784392197