Where have I been?

I don't know how to start. I've not been blogging because it hasn't been a top priority for me. I really wanted to be a real blogger after stumbling on to so many other blogs full of great ideas, but for now blogging is not my calling. I will continue to write new posts and share, but as for a daily or weekly update I don't think that will be coming.

God has been really good to me since my last blog. I finished the book Crazy Love, by Francis Chan and haven't picked up any other Christian books. I have been reading some fun books I have downloaded for my Kindle for free thanks to a blog Pixel of Ink. I did really enjoy Crazy Love, and his messages have resonated with me. Kinda wishing I had bought the book and not just borrowed it. Would like to be able to go back and reread some things. Alas God must not have wanted me to own the book. If you want to really be called to think about your faith and love for God check out the book.

Along with finishing up the book I have been working, trying to raise my daughter with the help of a great husband, attending church, having prayer meetings, and visiting family and friends.

Justin and I took Liliana back to Kentucky to visit where she was born. It was great seeing old friends and catching up. We spent a long weekend there, but it wasn't enough time to see everyone. It is always so hard for me to return to places I have lived. I see the people and places as they were when I left and to see changes is not pleasant to me. I am so glad we went and Lili keeps asking to go back and see Lindsey and Wendy and Nathan again. Kentucky is a beautiful state. Justin loved it so much that he would move back if we could. God had a big hand in us living in Kentucky and especially Harrodsburg and I thank Him for the lessons and good times we had there.

God has been placing wonderful things in my life and I am so thankful for that. One day I was in the car and listening to a Christian radio station. The segment I was listening to was an interview with Priscilla Shirer who wrote the book The Resolution for Women. She wrote this book to go along with the movie Courageous. Courageous was mainly for men so the movie folks thought it would be nice to have a book for women who were inspired by the movie. The book is about wives being submissive to their husbands. You can check the interview out on this link. What really spoke to me was a story she shared about her and her husband trying to decide on a name for one of their kids. She really wanted one name and he wanted another. She felt like she could really get upset about this and went to the Lord who told her to go with her husbands choice. (All this is really really paraphrased!) What I took away from the part of the interview I listened to was that I truly have not been submissive to Justin. I am a take charge kinda gal who pretty much thinks and does what I please. Too many times I forgot to consult my husband before making a decision and one time I didn't listen to him at all. That night I asked Justin to forgive me. I do have to admit that I want to purchase and read the book and read the scripture related to this topic in Ephesians, but I have yet to. I think God has been preparing me to be in the right mindset.

I keep looking up to see how much I have written and wonder if anyone will take the time to read this. I hope my few and infrequent blog posting uplift and enlighten others as they read it.

Prayer request: For me to seek ALL of God and that I read His word more often.

Praying for you my unknown reader (s),

Carrie-Anne

A Pattern for Prayer

God is so good. I feel super blessed to know that I am a sinner, but God's grace and mercy abounds!

Yesterday I missed church because of unforeseen things coming up. I did want to hear a sermon and went to youtube to watch something by Francis Chan. I picked this one: The most inportant lesson I could ever teach. I really had a hard time focusing on it, but I was determined and completed it with some breaks. It was about how us Christians don't really read the Bible for ourselves. Ouch was all I could think. How true! I feel like I get enough from other sources that I rarely pick up my Bible and study it for myself. Praying that I seek more one on one Bible and God time without the help of others.

Today I received an email devotion from Biblegateway.com. It came from the book; True Identity The Bible for women. The title was A Pattern for Prayer. The Bible passage for today was Nehemiah 1:1–1. This is where Nehemiah finds out how bad Jerusalem is. Nehemiah was so upset by this he stopped and wept. He mourned and fasted for days crying out to God.

Here is a portion of the devotion:

"First, Nehemiah acknowledged who God is: “the great and awesome God.” When we focus on who God is, it helps to put our own problems into proper perspective.

Next Nehemiah acknowledged who he himself was: God’s servant. When we maintain an attitude of humility toward our heavenly Father, we are reminded of our dependence on God.

Then Nehemiah confessed his own sins and the sins of the Israelites. He didn’t gloss over the transgressions but stated them in honest repentance. Repentance freed him—and can free us—to make the next step in prayer.

Awed, humbled and forgiven—Nehemiah reminded God of his promises to his people. He recounted God’s promises to the children of Israel and interceded for his people, asking God to hear his prayer and favor him.

What situation has brought you to tears? If it is enough to touch your heart, it’s enough to bring you to your knees. Follow Nehemiah’s pattern: Acknowledge who God is and who you are, confess your sins and remind God of his promises." 

I can recall a few times where I have truly cried out to God tears and all for something, but is that enough. How often I hear news or prayer concerns and they touch my heart, but I don't cry out to God like Nehemiah did. I am so thankful that we have Nehemiah's prayer and his pattern as an example of how to go to God.

Crazy Love update: I am still reading it and digesting all that Chan lays out. This book really has me truly thinking and praying about my Christianity and my walk with God.

I pray you are seeing God in the little things daily. Continue to seek Him in all you do. Remember "The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous." Proverbs 15:29

CA 

That small still voice

I am still trying to figure out this book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I'm now in chapter 5. Chan makes lots of good points and really is pushing me to think about my faith. Chapter 4 was all about being a lukewarm christian. Chan gives lots of scenarios describing what a lukewarm christian might look like or act, but low and behold in chapter 5 Chan threw a curve ball and said that the term lukewarm christian is an oxymoron. You cannot really be a christian and be only lukewarm. Now I have to let you know that reading this book has not been easy, but something keeps calling me back to it. I may only have time to read one page, but I feel like I need to sit down and read what I can. Maybe it is because I am only borrowing it from the Kindle library, but I don't think that is it. I finished up chapter 4 and began chapter 5 just now and as I am trying to read and focus I keep "hearing/sensing" this thought or something about the idea of God. Kind of like someone is asking me "You really believe there is truly a God that created everything and created you for Him and He wants you to follow Him and live your life in such a way that you truly have to depend only on Him?"

I feel like the author of this book Chan's prayer for his readers is that they stop and think about their walk with God and come to an understanding of loving Him even if it seems crazy. I also think the devil is not happy with this prayer and while I am reading he is trying to pull me off my course just a little by putting thoughts of doubt into my head.

Really though, think about it; God is God. He created everything that we know of and so much that we don't. He created man in His image for Him and He wants us to love Him and accept that He sent a boy-His son-to live on earth and be human and God in one. He orchestrated people to write down His ideas and put it together to form the Bible. He seeks us out and wants to make us holy and if we accept all this and live according to His will we (might) will be able to hear Jesus say yes I know Carrie-Anne good and faithful servant. How silly does that sound?

Just this afternoon I was talking with some co-workers and it came up about a man that had committed suicide and how could anyone do that. I commented "who would want to go to Hell? I know Jesus is going to have a long list of things I missed and messed up, but I know I'm going to Heaven." Then I come home to finish up the lukewarm chapter and start on chapter 5 and doubt the idea of a God and this whole christian concept. Strange how God works if you ask me!

Did you noticed in my third paragraph I sneaked  in the word might when talking about hearing Jesus say yes you are a friend of mine? As I was typing I wrote might instead of will, but I feel like everyone thinks if they are saved they will be in Heaven when the time comes, but is that really the case? This book is really presenting a case for me to think long and hard about it all. Even think about is there really a God. I have always said that even if I knew with 100% that no matter what I did I was going to go to hell I would still praise God and live my life according to His will so that I do not bring anyone else with me to hell. Two questions come to mind: 1. Is my walk (life) encouraging others or am I just another person living life not affecting anyone? 2. Is how I'm living really going to get me into Heaven or am I that lukewarm christian? 

I do believe in God and believe that He is I Am that I Am, the Alpha and Omega, Abba Father, and so much more. I also believe that God knew that when I began reading this particular book I would have doubts and I would question me faith. I am sure He knows if this book will change me. He has a plan for me and while I do not know how future chapters of my story will pan out I am willing to continue on my path with Him beside me. I wonder if that thought I heard or felt while reading was the devil putting doubt in me or was it really God calling me to question my faith. God does speak in a small still voice. I pray that God does use this book to bring me closer to Him and to inspire me to reach others.

Great Week!

Yes my week ended great! I had a wonderful day with my students at Special Olympics. I taught great lessons all week (meaning my students sat and listened and paid attention!) and I feel closer to God.

To start I will recap a little about my reading of Crazy Love. I'm on chapter two which is cleverly named "you might not finish this chapter." He is trying to express to us that we are only an extra in God's movie. Along with this He shows us how this is all God's story and we are here for God not the other way around. I am finding that I am having to go back and reread sections and seeking out the context of the verses Chan quotes. I really like the idea that I am seeking out what God wants to show me in this book. God is speaking to me in a little thing called words.

For a couple of weeks I have been struggling with some things at work. Praise God that I gave it all to Him. I took two steps forward this week and was only pushed one step back. I will press on! In seeing the errors I had made at work and seeking out ways to fix them God has blessed me with opportunities to truly "teach." I put teach in quotations because I teach everyday, but not in the true sense of get in front of the class, present information, and have discussions. This week I had lots of "teaching" moments. (For those who have forgotten I teach severe and profound special education and that means I teach a lot of one-on-one and life skills.) My lessons included science topics, writing topics, finding the beginning, middle, and end of a story, and lots of math lessons. I am super glad to see that God is merciful and He forgave me and continued to bless me. God is so good.

Tonight I was on my new addiction Pinterest and found this 21 Creative Consequences . Being a parent of a wonderful 3 year old who never challenges me I am all about finding great ways to train up my child. I truly loved number 3. "Make a homemade "Correction" can and fill it with tickets or slips of paper with various consequences written on them. Instead of giving your child a time-out, send her to the can for a slip. A few ideas might include no TV or computer for a night, early bedtime, or an extra chore. Toss in a blank piece of paper, a "mercy" ticket. This gives you an opportunity to talk about how God gives us mercy even when we deserve punishment." A great way to show God's love and mercy in the disciplining of my child. Another way to share God with a little thing.

Praise God for a wonderful week! I do have the beginnings of a cold, but asking God heals me before work on Tuesday.

Praying you all have a wonderful weekend.  

Praising God for His wonders

I am still in chapter one of the book Crazy Love by Chan. I had to put it down to truly think about all that I read. I'm struggling with his concepts that I read in that yes they are true, but I've heard it before. I truly had to stop and not think about it. So tonight I was driving by myself (a rarity) and enjoying some thinking time. I began to think about the wonders of our world and how great our God is for all that He has created. The main topic I read about last night was truly worshiping God for His beauty. Tonight I did just that. I praised God for a wonderful day teaching, a beautiful day weather wise, and how He made it all fit together. The little thing for today is praising God for His big creation! When you stop and think about it how can you not stop and worship Him? I'm just saying.

what's with my title anyway?

So I want to post something, but nothing is really jumping out at me. Last week was a struggle for me and God has shown me the errors I made and what I need to do. I pray I truly listened this time. Yep He has to repeat a lot of lessons for me. Anyway I don't want to dwell on all that, but move on to happier things.

I started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Here is a link to his website: Crazy Love Book. I am just a couple of pages in and since I was reading on my Kindle (thanks dad it was the best gift ever!) I was not near a computer to take the first online quiz thingy. Now that I've been back to the computer I just remembered I needed to do the first thing. I'm not sure how God will use this book in me, but I'm praying He will allow me to see and hear what He has in it for me. I will keep ya posted on it. I've heard great things.

God is working in me and I pray He continues. I've been thinking a lot about  my blog title: seeking HIM in the little things. What does this mean to me again? God is so wonderful that I want to see His works in everything and I want to share His greatness in all I do. So what is seeking Him in the little things: it is finding something so simple and realizing God is behind it. I pray you are seeking God in the little things!

Tested

So I posted yesterday about what I've been learning and guess what God has put me to the test. I'm sure I passed, but just barely. See I decided to let go and do my best for me & God, but I didn't get the message quick enough. Yep my venting got back to the wrong person and now I'm struggling to eat my words. Not that I said anything bad, but well anyway not to go into detail. I just know that I have learned from all this. I really feel like I'm an adult now coming into my own. Funny how I'm 31 and have a 3 year old little girl, but I really feel like I've taking my life and learned from it. So much is going on in my mind about everything and nothing.

I talked with Justin and as I was talking to him I felt a sense of calm and ok. That all this will pass and I've got so much to take away from it. God even used a little thing to speak to me. I was checking facebook and a friend posted this scripture "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up". ~ Galatians 6:9~ I feel like I'm doing good, but reaping nothing for it and there is no need to think nothing good is coming because of course it is. 


Thanks God for speaking to me in the little things. Although I feel like what I am dealing with is big it really is little. God has me and is training me up and I am ready. I want to make a change and take what I have learned/am learning and put it into practice. I know this won't come over night. It takes doing things a few times for it to become a habit or part of the routine. So let me get started. I have a new plan for work, I'm focusing on my parenting style, and I we are thinking about next steps for our family. 


As long as I do good I will reap a harvest in His time. I will not grow weary (anymore) and I will not give up! 

Reflecting

Do you ever have a moment to just stop and think? Tonight was one of my times to stop and think.

Lately I've been doing a lot of "venting" or complaining about things that haven't gone my way. Tonight I just began to tell myself that it is what it is and I cannot change it especially by venting. Today someone said some things that really got under my skin and instead of going back and telling EVERYONE I just tucked it away and waited till I could tell my husband. I vented and am letting go of it. God has it all in His hands and I am His.

I have also put into practice that if I am thinking negative it means I need to stop and ask God. Yep I truly believe if I am upset, disappointed, hurt, confused or whatever that God has a reason for what caused my feeling in the first place and therefore I need to stop and ask Him why or to take it away.

These past few months I have learned a lot.

1. It's okay to be disappointed- don't get upset or jealous of others
2. One person is not the end all- I only have to please God
3. Try your best and give 100% 
4. If I let myself down don't put myself down
5. Even if I don't speak it I am still judging
6. Be thankful for the little things- this makes the bigger things even better
7. Complaining only takes away from giving 100%
8. Practice makes better not perfect-see I'm learning from my mistakes!
9. Organization is not in my blood
10. I see myself as successful when others notice- a. meaning I brag on myself  b. I get down on myself if I am not in the forefront.

What I am saying with this list is that God is still molding me. He is allowing me to stop and reflect more so that I can "learn" from what I have done. Number 10 has really hit me hard. I never realized that I seek out to be included not because I want to help, but because that is how I gain the feeling of success. If others pick me to help out than I feel like I have done good. If I don't get picked I begin number 4! Satan likes to put doubt in me because it takes my thoughts away from God. I also felt that I needed recognition and affirmation to feel successful.  I need to remember that I am can see my successes when I see gains in my students, when I have made it though another day, when I see my daughter smile, and not only when others compliment me or choose me to help. Sometimes it's better to be doing what your doing without others watching your every move. This way if you make a mistake no one but you and God know!

Thanks God for showing me one of my flaws that You are rubbing away. God is the great potter and I am just a lump of clay.

As I am typing and reflecting I think God has shown me the root of my issues here lately: I feel like I don't matter. This goes back to me needing feedback from higher ups and rewards for doing what I should be doing just because it is my duty. There is no need to feel like I don't matter if no one says anything to me. I matter to me, to God, to my students, and my family.

Do you ever wonder?

So today Lilibug was stuck at home. She came down with strep. So as I was playing around with her I thought I wonder if God had me stay home for a reason. Do you ever think about that? Like if you were running late and maybe it was so you missed a car accident. Or maybe you think about it on a positive side like you chose to walk a certain way that day and ran into someone or found something and then give the credit to God. I don't know that this is true, but often I do think maybe "that" happened for a reason only God knows.

On another note- I hated having to miss work today. I just had 19 days off and was ready to get back into the routine. I had spent a lot of my time off working on school ideas and cannot wait to put them to work in my classroom. So to miss today took a lot for me. Guess this is why I stopped and asked God what was the reason.

God is the first artist

Dad's tree

I sure did enjoy my lazy days in Florida. It was very relaxing and easy going. It was also good to spend time with my dad. Lili enjoyed being with Grandpa John as well. Justin had to spend some of his time writing papers, but did get to enjoy good food and fun times in between writing. He also got a new video game that he got to play. It is always nice to not to have to "do" anything. I praise God for these few and far between moments.


I especially loved being able to go to the beach and enjoy the wonders of God's creation. One day I was lucky enough to get to watch a pod of dolphins playing for at least a half and hour. Lili loved playing in the sand, collecting sea shells and getting her toes feet legs wet. Even our dog Sadie got to enjoy the beach playing ball and rolling in the sand. 

Look at the beauty of the sun set and the ocean!

While I was walking the beach I stopped to enjoy the sea shells. I've always loved collecting them. I still have a few from when I was a little girl. As I was looking at the various shells I was struck by how God blending and mixed the colors on each. He is the original artist and designer. Just look at nature and see. It still amazes me how something so little as a sea shell and bring me to awe of our mighty God. It's the little things. I am so glad I can see Him in the little things. I am thankful that I am not to busy to appreciate the small moments and simple ways God appears to me. I am also thankful for the big things as well. 

Some pictures I took of sea shells.

I'll work on my editing skills one day!

Walking to the beach

We enjoyed our time and it was a wonderful way to end the Christmas season and start 2012!